Feeling broody????????????????????????...

Just found out my sister in law is preg for the first time. Im so happy for her as I know its something she and her husband have wanted for a while.





But Im feeling kind of broody/and part jelous? Is this normal?


I have a daughter Lily who is 3 in January and me and my partner have been speaking about having another recently, Ive asked many questions on here regarding it.





However now I feel If I started trying for one now id be kind of stealing her thunder?





If Im going to have another it would have to be in the next year or so as Im wanting to train as a social worker so want to have another before a new career kicks off and stops it happening.





My partners very keen but Im not so sure now....





Advise?

Feeling broody????????????????????????...
Don%26#039;t forget it can take a while to actually get pregnant. If you started trying now it still may be three or four months before you get the bfp. I%26#039;m 30 and so is my partner, we were 27 when we had our first and our second is now 10m. We are ttc our last now so as to not get too far past 30 and have a baby because I%26#039;m doing a social work degree too, lol, for the same reasons about having a career after children etc. If you are happy having one child then stay that way, but if you get to 40 and say %26quot;I wish I%26#039;d had another%26quot; you sorta can%26#039;t go back.


Good luck, you have a few decisions to make.
Reply:Surely it%26#039;d be good for your future neice or nephew to have a cousin of the same age to play with? I think you having another baby wouldn%26#039;t be such a bad thing for both parties!
Reply:I%26#039;d go for it i know i enjoyed having a cousin who was the same age as me as a child and if you two are close it can be fun to share the experience my mom and aunt still talk about there shared pregnancy
Reply:Your sister in law will probably love it if you were both pregnant at the same time because then she will ahve someone who is in the same boat as her and she knows you really well too. If you want another baby then you shouldnt let others put you off, if you are worried about people thinking you are trying to steal her thunder dont tell them you are trying, just tell them when you actually are pregnant.
Reply:Yes its normal. My friend followed suit soon after I announced I was pregnant for a 2nd time, and she gave birth to hers about 4 months after mine was born. In your case, I don%26#039;t think its about stealing her thunder really. In fact, something good that can come out of it is that your sister in law%26#039;s new baby will soon have an instant playmate once you have your 2nd one! And think about it - they%26#039;ll be the same age (or roundabouts), they might even go to school together, they might even become best of friends.





If you%26#039;re planning on a career change in the near future, then yes perhaps its better to have your baby earlier rather than later, so that by the time your new baby grows to pre-school or kindergarten age, you%26#039;d be able to have more time to focus on your new career because both your children will be going to schools daily thus leaving you some time to do your stuff. You could also make arrangements with your future boss to take some time off work each day so you can pick your children up from school, that kind of thing, or arrange for a childminder to take them back from school.





Also, this means that you%26#039;d be able to spend a bit more time with your 2 children in their formative years before schooling, watch them grow up from toddlers to young children, before devoting yourself to a new career.
Reply:I think your feelings are quite normal. If you and your Bro/SIL have babies at about the same time they will grow up to be really good friends and you can share baby sitting etc.





Why don%26#039;t you have a quiet word with your SIL and say that you and your partner are also thinking about having another child but don%26#039;t want her to think you are jumping on the bandwagon. I%26#039;m sure she will understand.
Reply:What you are feeling sounds perfectly normal to me (or at least i feel like this too)
Reply:You say you have been talking about it for a while, I think by talking about it and not actually doing anything about it you are having doubts about having another child. You need to sit down and really think if this is what you want, lots of woman only have one child so they can focus on that one, they have more money to spend on them and can therefore do more, take them places buy them more.





Everyone likes the idea of a cute sweet new born but as you know the reality is different.
Reply:My advice would be; don%26#039;t let other people%26#039;s lives affect the course your life. I know what you mean about stealing her thunder etc, I had a similar situation in my family when two of my sisters wanted to get married in the same summer, and they were both a bit worried that the other wedding would make theirs less special, but when it came to it both weddings were special and unique. The same goes for children - I have two nieces and two nephews, both nieces born within a few months of each other, and both nephews within a few days of each other! Each child is wonderful and unique and it was really exciting for my family getting two new babies together! It really won%26#039;t be as bad as you might imagine, and you might find that it takes you a while to conceive anyway. You need to do what is right for your own little family, and you%26#039;d probably find that your sister-in-law would be quite pleased that someone else is going through the same thing at the same time as her, especially as it%26#039;s her first time, which is pretty scary! I%26#039;m currently pregnant with my first and my sister-in-law is pregnant with her third, but it doesn%26#039;t bother me at all, I%26#039;m just really excited that my child will have another cousin around the same age as him/her to play with, and it%26#039;s useful having someone to moan about the morning sickness to!





Good luck, I%26#039;m sure everything will work out how it is supposed to.
Reply:Of course it%26#039;s natural to feel envious when someone else has something you want - but you already have one beautiful baby, so you should be happy. Many women can%26#039;t have babies and would give almost anything to be in your situation. With regards to your career, it sounds like you have your mind made up: you know your career won%26#039;t take off if you have another baby immediately. However you don%26#039;t mention how old you are: if you%26#039;re 35 I would have the baby and delay the career. If you%26#039;re younger, time is on your side. It%26#039;s all well and good for your partner to be keen, but he%26#039;s not the one who will be damaging his career prospects. So don%26#039;t have a baby because you want to keep up with The Jones%26#039; - have a baby because your heart tells you it%26#039;s the right thing to do (and when.)
Reply:As you%26#039;re having doubts I%26#039;d say don%26#039;t do it. I don%26#039;t think stealing your sisters thunder is a problem, I%26#039;m sure she%26#039;d be very happy for you. It%26#039;s a huge thing and only you and your husband can decide but while you%26#039;re broody isn%26#039;t the best time, you%26#039;re too emotional. Also you have your career mapped out. On the other hand if you want another child there are things like age to think about. You don%26#039;t say how old you are. You could go into your Social Work training, qualify, work a few years then try for another baby but how old will you be? Lots to think about and you will both have to sit down and discuss it.


All the best



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