Right, I%26#039;m a 15year old male-to-female transsexual currently living as a guy for now, I fancy girls, so as a girl I%26#039;d be a lesbian and please, unless you know how hard it is believing you were born in the wrong body don%26#039;t tell me to stay living as a straight guy cos i hate it.
Right, well I know transition is a while off for me but I kinda have planned for the future.
Now, I currently really like the city I live in, inventually I intend to move away but I don%26#039;t want to do that until I%26#039;m atleast 30years old, but also I don%26#039;t want anyone accept friends and family knowing I%26#039;m transsexual, so I%26#039;ve kinda come up with a plan.
Now I may not be able to get all my family on my side but I do have a few family members who are LGBT, I%26#039;ve come out to my close friends who I care about, and my plan is that while I transition I move out of the city for that period of time which I%26#039;m guessing will be a few years, especially if you include the one to two years I%26#039;ll have to be living in my chosen gender role, through which it will be obvious I%26#039;m a transsexual and then after transition I%26#039;ll come back to city and try and pass myself off as being Lily, my twin lesbian sister and to explain my disappearence say I%26#039;ve moved to California in the USA(I live in the UK), I%26#039;ve always wanted to live there so it%26#039;s believable.
Now in an ordinary family this may not work, but my family is pretty diversed, my Dad left when I was young and if i had a twin he could have easily taken that twin with him, also I have started seeing my Dad again now but half my family from his side I haven%26#039;t met and also telling me I have a twin sister I didn%26#039;t know about would be something you%26#039;d enter with caution so I think it%26#039;s pretty do-able and also even if I don%26#039;t have all my family on my side I will have a few members to back me up and my friends that I%26#039;ve chosen to keep.
Do you think this is do-able and my plan may work?
Do you reckon I could pull this off?
hi again!!!
I think you should come up with a different plan if i%26#039;m honest, the few peopl you have told, will always tell someone else, always!!! so when you come back you will have some peopl who know the truth and things like that always get out. think being honest is the beast soloution or if you really don%26#039;t want everyone to know, then move somewhere close enough but where you don%26#039;t have to mix with people who know unless you want too, well done though for thinking the whole %26quot;plan%26quot; through though xx
Reply:At 15 your hormones may be playing tricks on you and at that age you%26#039;re just not ready to make such life-altering decisions. At least wait until you%26#039;ve finished school before you start taking this seriously.
Reply:Transitioning is tough enough without deceit and lies.
Be who you are and tell everyone...if they don%26#039;t acept it then they aren%26#039;t worth it, however painful this may get.
Reply:My heart goes out to you for being born with the wrong body, that must be such an emotional roller coaster. And my hat goes to you for believing in who you are and going with it. Well done! You know personally i think it would be better to be honest as in the future when you have made the complete transition and bump into an old friend or even your family you could end up saying something from your past that might make twig that you are really you. You need complete support from your family and friends at a time like this, sometimes i do believe in having to lie about somethings but with this i do believe that you have to be truthful. Once you are completely happy with who are, there will be no need to tell new friends or strangers that you used to be boy......none of no-ones business hun!
Reply:I don%26#039;t know whether or not you would get away with it, but I do know that it is not worth the effort; it is very stressful trying to maintain that kind of facade over an extended period of time.
I think it is a good idea to move away whilst you are going through the %26#039;obvious%26#039; part of transition (this was less of a problem for me as an FTM), as it limits the chance of difficult encounters with people who knew you previously. You may find then that you don%26#039;t want to move back to your home city, in which case problem solved.
If you do want to go back, just make sure you surround yourself with good friends - in work or at college - who don%26#039;t know up front about your transition. Once you have established yourself, and they like/respect you as you are, you may feel confident enough to let some of them in on your secret. In my experience people are generally supportive. This way there is no need to lie, and no chance that one of your friends/family members might accidentally let slip something that undermines your story.
Reply:I think you should just tell them the truth. (when the time comes) Instead of lying to them. They might not even believe you. Even if they do, do you really want to lie to them about who you are? You won%26#039;t be dependent of your family, so does it really matter what they think?
Reply:Even after you have the operation your voice will give you away they can feminize it but a trannies voice can easily be picked out from a true female voice.
Main point: As a person who wants a sex change too I%26#039;m starting to realise nothing in the world can make you a true female and if I had the operation as trannies are distinctly different from females born from birth in many ways.
Reply:Being deceptive is never a good thing. If you were to pull this off and then at a later date the truth were to come out then you would be in a much worse position than just being truthful.
Transition isn%26#039;t easy by any means but it does require you to be honest with yourself first. You will also find you will have more respect of people if you are honest with them from the start and you%26#039;ll create more acceptance that way.
You really need to discuss your plans with the therapist and I%26#039;m pretty sure you%26#039;ll find that you need to live proud and not hide from this ...
Once people find out you have lied they will scrutinize all aspects or your life wondering what else is a lie. It%26#039;s not worth it.
Once people lose trust it%26#039;s hard to get it back
Reply:I think you need to start seeing a specialist in the field of Gender Identity Disorder. Additionally RLE/RLT is no longer a requirement of HBGIDA to start HRT- RLE/RLT is controlled by the countries health standards for GRS/SRS- so it may not be 2 years depends on the countries standards. I would start speaking with your family because yes the younger you start transition the better but if you were under professional care they may start you on blockers which will help you transition.
The first thing is before you create this lie and cover up- face your family with a wealth of information and get in with a psychiatrist, psychologist or sexologist for the GID treatment and discuss this with them. People may accept it better than you imagine and you don%26#039;t have to come out to everyone your body may respond better to HRT due to the age you plan to start transition but your treatment needs to be done by professionals.
Reply:It%26#039;s an interesting plan. As for will it work or not, well, you are 15 years old and plans we make at that age rarely come to actually pass. You can keep thinking about this if you want and it makes you feel more comfortable, but you understand it probably won%26#039;t actually happen. Life throws curve balls at everybody and those are what you can not possibly plan for. Something is bound to come up and throw a wrench into your plan, probably for the better. There might be someone/something that makes you change your mind on all of this. I%26#039;m just saying to set your heart so for this, that when it doesn%26#039;t happen as planned you%26#039;ll be hurt. Life is good and fun, so just role with it.
Good luck.
Reply:if people care about you like they say they do they wont judge you or put you down about it. it is ok to be a lesbian bi sexual gay or just straight. one day everyone will know your a girl so its easier to get it out now if you leave town and say your a twin sister who is lesbian then you will have your whole life a lie if you have to just go to a different school and become a girl they will never know you were a guy at one time then you can just start all over
Reply:You might be able to pull it off but the best thing that you could do is talk to your therapist about what to do about dealing w/ your family when it comes to the name change also go to the site that I have listed they can help you out alot %26amp; they also have a teens section.
Reply:To go to such extortionate ends to HIDE what you say you feel you are is testimony to you being ashamed of it. Yes i think you should live as straight as you%26#039;re living that life at the moment. How would you be genuinly happy living a life that was based on lies and deceit? how is that a stable foundation to build your new life on? If and when you%26#039;re ready to FULLY embrace what you say you are then THAT would be the time to openly arrange everything. A life that has been built upon a foundation of mistrust, lies and deceit cannot end in happiness. Good Luck.
Reply:Actually, I reckon you probably could pull this off, however, the thing about secrets is that the pretty much will always come out somewhere and somehow, the more people who know, the more chance of the secret emerging, and people who are close to you and love you, in whatever capacity tend to feel let down by this, which is understandable. A lie is a lie.
Along the path of your transition, you will receive much counselling, part of which will be how to deal with life as a woman when meeting the people who knew you as a man. The whole point about going through this process is because you cannot live a lie, you need to be female. Why not celebrate this? The stress you would be under trying to keep a lid on this secret could be potentially quite harmful, and you would likely develop relationships of some sort or another where you feel you will either be keeping a secret or you will have to tell that person, then another person knows, another lie is told and so on. Why bother. You will have to do the hard part of explaining that you were born a guy and now are a woman, why add to that? Be Lily, be proud to be Lily, it will be who you are, celbrate being Lily, if people cannot deal with that, be they family or whatever, it will be their loss. You will gain so much more respect and understanding by being upfront and honest. Let%26#039;s face it, the more people understand about transgender people, the more acceptance will become commonplace. You can do something to help this by being who you are, accepting it and expecting people to accept you as who you are, which is, or will be by then, Lily.
I personally do not think it would be worth even trying to pull this off. Also, people, no matter how well you know them, some people anyway, love to tell people %26quot;shocking%26quot; news or have information that others don%26#039;t. Someone would blow your cover, causing you pain and stress, it just isn%26#039;t worth it.
I think by the time you have gone through this whole process you may well have a different attitude about it all anyway, and want people to know who you are, what makes you who you are and what you have gone through to get to where you are, I do not think you will want to hide it.
Incidentally, I saw your question about asking the girl out, but it had been closed by then, I just wanted to say, please, please try not to be discusted every morning by the genitals you are stuck with for now, try to accept yourself as who you are for now, knowing that one day they will be gone and you will have a beautiful vagina instead, which is what you want. I know it is easy for me to say, but I just hate to think of you feeling that way, you know you are going to change, you won%26#039;t have them forever.
As for asking the girl out, I would just go along with your plan of meeting her and getting to know her, what will be will be, if it is meant to be, it will develop naturally. I hope she has stopped self harming, I have been down that particular root, not these days, but I only stopped a few years ago. This girl clearly has some deep emotional pain which she takes out on herself. I would imagine she is very vulnerable, and I think you are vulnerable too. You could probably bring some much needed stability, security and understanding to each other. As you know, it is hard to go back to being friends after being romantically involved, with or without sex, you need to weigh up wether you want her as a friend or more and then just let things take their course. Sorry to once again answer that question on the back of another one, I know its a bit naughty.
Anyway, yes I think your plan is potentially do-able and could work, but I do not think it is worth doing and I think the secret of who you once were would ultimately come back to haunt you, seems like a lot of hard work rather than just accepting who you are, who you were, and how you got there. People will come to know who you are, and love you for that, it will be enough, both for them, and for you. You could also do a lot of good, speaking to young people who have gender issues, you will be a source of strength and inspiration to them.
Reply:Love, many of us have considered similar options, myself included, but I don%26#039;t think that any of them even have the potential to work and here is why: First, your family will know if your mother had twins. Twins cause a more complicated birth and I am positive that your mother would have told her family if she had two children. Telling them that you had a sister that you didn%26#039;t know about and that your mom kept that secret from them all will get them talking to her and she will of course deny it. This brings it back to you to prove it and you cannot since it is a fabrication. Second, it is unreasonable to think that your family would believe that you were sent away at the age of 15. Third, How would you live? You would need a job and you will definately need a college education, or what ever it is they call it in the UK, because in western countries this process costs a lot of money. If you are working just to support yourself then you are not going to even start your transition. Fourth, if you were to leave for several years and then come back as a woman, your family will likely not welcome you back. You are a foreigner in their land. They have no ties to you and your previous lies will not be good either. Fifth, moving out of the city will likely put you in a bad position to transition. There are fewer doctors that deal with these issues out there and you will likely find that people are not as accepting. Sixth, all of this will only hurt your mother and reletives. You disappearing never to be seen again. If you want to do this right I suggest being honest with everyone and telling them that you are a tranny and transitioning where they can watch and support you. If you want more information I am always here for you dear.
Reply:you%26#039;re 15
i still don%26#039;t know what my gay/gender label is, and i%26#039;m 27 and married.
why don%26#039;t you try developing yourself first before deciding you are a male lesbian? x
Reply:no and ewwwww.....
The last time I answered a question about a tranny I got twelve thumbs down I hope to atleast meet that this time and I can only do that with your support
Soles
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