What do I do? He plays his video games ALL DAY AND NIGHT!!!?

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years. We have a beautiful 4 month old daughter together. Our relationship was next to perfect. He does have an addictive personality, I mean he was addicted to drugs then drinking. He stopped all that, but now he is obsessed with video games. He just got his xbox 360 in January. He bought the game Call of Duty 4. and he plays it online ALL THE TIME. If hes not at work or showering or sleeping hes playing the game. He maybe spends a total of an hour with me and our daughter a day. One day he woke up played for 17 hours then went to sleep. We barely talk anymore, if we do its usually fighting because of the games. He says things like, wow look at lily shes doing this for the first time... and I say, no shes been doing it for a week. Ive tried compromising - go ahead, play your games for 3 hours a day and give me one FULL day a week of you. But he didnt want to do that. Ive tried saying the games are coming between us. What do I do?

What do I do? He plays his video games ALL DAY AND NIGHT!!!?
Tell him he needs to decide what is more important to you. You need to let him know that he has to learn how to divide time between the games and family.
Reply:Sorry, but it's time for drastic measures.


Intervention.


You have to sit him down, no games, and tell him the consequences of his actions. Tell him exactly how this has hurt you, what he's missed, and that you honestly believe that he's using the game to either escape from reality permanently or that he's addicted. Have a plan for him to get help. I think he may need to quit cold turkey.





But if you do this, realize that he may leave. If that's not what you want, seek help from anyone that you can rely on... his friends, your families, a minister, a counselor, anyone.





DO NOT destroy the game or the system. Because then you simply become the enemy, and your violent actions will justify him falling away even further. Make HIM understand why the system has to go, and have a PLAN for what you do (as a family) once it does go. If he relinquishes it, you've got a much better chance than if you destroy it.
Reply:you need to talk to him sersiouly
Reply:I know when you have children its hard enough to find time to spend together.Try playing with him, if you don't like the game he is playing rent one to try. my husband and I both enjoy video games. I tell him if he will help me around the house we might be able to squeeze a game or two in tonight before we go to bed.Good Luck!!
Reply:Get him to understand that he's falling into that same spiral of bullshit and help him muster some ******* will power to defy his own emotional bonds to these things. Games are fun, but too much of a good thing can be a bad thing... and if not to you, then clearly to the ones you love. Your daughter might fall into the same loop as well, and you probably don't want to deal with that crap. Teach her and your boyfriend about moderation... it's a necessity.
Reply:Well, if he seems distant its probably because of his addictive personality so you already know all that. its just a phase and sooner or later he'll come out of it. I mean, he'll probably get sick of the 360 sometime. So, just wait it out.
Reply:DO NOT LEAVE HIM.....JUST TRY TO TAKE HIM OUT WITH YOU FUN E.G GOING TO RESTURANT,CINEMA,BEACH ETC.....BECAUSE THE VIDEO GAME MAKES YOU SICK CAUSE SLEEPLESS.
Reply:Leave. My ex did this with a certain computer game (wanna guess which one?) If he has an addictive personality, he's only going to find something to replace that with once he stops that. It's a neverending battle.





To everyone who says to tell him how you feel.... Yeah good luck with that. He may stop for a while, but he'll always go back. I dealt with this for 2 years.
Reply:addiction is powerful unfortunately your bo is trading one addiction for another. unless he himself addresses the underlying issues an addict will more than likely continue trading out what is favorable to him/her. you can't change his behavior by negotiation. The only one you have control over is yourself and the well being of your beautiful lily. You get this advice from someone who struggled with an alcoholic ex husband and a drug addicted boyfriend. get yourself into some alanon groups. You are wasting your time and energy trying to salvage something that will continue to be a recycle bin for failure until he chooses to change himself. best of luck to you in this endeavor. once you see yourself out of this cycle you will see what your contribution to to the behavior is. it took me a couple of years to realize this and i am now contributing in a very healthy and productive relationship. the finalization of your situation is simply this. 1. the definition of insanity is doing the same thing the same way expecting different results. 2. when you are sick and tired of being sick and tired you will be prompted for change.
Reply:From the point of view of a guy in a relationship who also likes to play games every now and then to chill out after work, but isn't that extremely addicted, I would say that you need to let him know that he's crossed the line, surely he can see that what he's doing is really unhealthy and not just for him but for the family as well. Scare him into understanding that this is something that could cause a split. Hopefully reality will sink in and he will see that he has to make a real effort to control the number of hours he spends playing or seek help in some way. That said I have no personal experience with people with seriously addictive personalities. Thank you for asking this question so I can be careful not to go down the same road. (I was thinking of buying COD4!) Mistake?
Reply:play with him someetimes, he'll get bored eventually. don't do anything around the house, eventually it will get so bad he'll have to start lifting a finger! If he doesn't stop take him to a proffesional
Reply:Don't compromise. Gaming addictions can tear relationships apart. Honest advice coming from a former gaming addict: throw away the discs. If he still doesn't stop, pack up and stay with a friend or family member for a few days.





Show him that there are real-world consequences for what he's doing. Again, do not compromise. He is not just a boyfriend, he is a father. He needs to put others before himself.
Reply:sadly...i am a call of duty 4 widow too. let him beat it
Reply:Just start hanging out with your friends....guy friends.
Reply:I've been dealing with the exact same situation, my boyfriend is on the Xbox 360 24/7 and i can't stand it anymore. Guys like this need to grow up and realize there are more important things in life than video games.
Reply:Make it obvious. Tell him exactly how it makes you feel. If that doesn't work, tell him you wont let him tear your family apart w/games suited for men w/out big responsibilities like a child. Challenge him, give him an ultimatum. Put the ball in his court but be serious about it.
Reply:Best bet to get him to stop playing video games and pay attention to his family is to leave the house for a while with your daughter and live with your parents or a relative. Let him see how lonely it gets by having your girlfriend and daughter leave you due to an addiction.





Just gather yours and your daughters things and leave one nite, while he's at work. Have him think that you left him for a better boyfriend. That's what I did to mine, and it really worked.





After a few months he found out where I was staying and begged me to come back with him with our daughter.
Reply:no give him that time, because he is not used to be free so don`t worry he will be okey.
Reply:there is only one thing to do, you pick up that controler and school his *** at some video games. when hes gone you beat the game before him and tell him how awsome the ending was. or you play the game together and share some qaulity time shooting people. or just get naked and stand in front of the tv.
Reply:sell the system..use the money for the family..and if he doesnt like it..tell him to get out
Reply:lolol.....my b/f does it all the time.


Our situation is different though. We are older (40's)


We both have our jobs and different life styles. No kids together so I dont have to worry about it.


I honestly dont care. I find something else to do.


Im not one that needs his constant attention.


I laugh at him for the way he screams at the tv......like it's going to change or help him....lololol
Reply:omg I love call of duty 4 for the xbox 360.....and he will get over it is just the fever of playing this game I understand him this game is awesome...but don't worry he will get over it sooner or later just hang in there
Reply:kick him to the curb,and go for some good sex and understanding,
Reply:Man you are in the same situation as me instead my man spends all his time on the internet, and he does have an addiction its the net... all he does is work come home get comfortable and jump on MY computer for over 10 hours but the crazy thing is that he will say I only been on it for 4 hours all I can do is laugh cause he don't even realize his attention is not on me! Then he has the nerve to get off come lay on me and say is dinner ready... or rub his head (show effection), why do I want to give him any attention after he get his satifaction. These guys are a trip, they into so much other things they are missing great things in the people they have ya know. But most of the excuse I get is the internet clears his mind of work or its just a relaxation (cause he plays the games on there too for hours)... so just the other day we had an agurement about him not spending time with me and how the net is going to come in between our relationship... but guess what it's MY computer and when I get on it he trys to tell me how to do things or rushes me off I look at him as if I'm going to throw the computer at him.. he says what's mine is he's and what's he's is mine, but this dude hogs it. He can be on it for hours get off and I wait a while and then jump on to do business when I get off and I'm about to turn it off...I hear him in the background...don't turn it off I'm gonna get back on...I be like you just got off...so what are we going to do?





I'll tell you what I did I started not saying anything to him, and let him do what he wanted when he get on I start texing friends back to back... I set up girls night out and when he calls (after he finish his hrs on computer) I don't answer, then I don't come home until the next day or that Sunday night...and when he starts asking question everything I have to say has to do with the net.. he wasn't worried when he was giving his time to the computer... we have to teach them a lesson a quit lesson and I bet he will start saying dang she don't hound me anymore, she acks like she don't care... man what is she doing? So that's what you want to do you want him to start responding and asking you things, but you can't give in...you have to be strong and give him the mean mug silent treatment!





It Works...
Reply:Well when you get something new you want to use it right? Well since the x-box 360(the best lol) is new he wants to use it as much as he can. The games are interesting when you berly get them. Maybe he want to past the game!


Trust me when you play something for a long time it gets boring.
Reply:The guy sounds like a real winner here. Leave before you get PG and have another baby. Stop being a door mat. Why did'nt he marry you? HE IS NOT COMMITTED TO YOU. GET OUT!!! You are wasting your time on this guy. Is this what you want for your Baby?
Reply:Ha Ha, why dont you be really mean, when he isnt there, hide the cable from the back of the 360 (the power cable). When he realises you took it, then you will be in control : ) I think he would be more than happy for a compromise then.
Reply:First off, you should of been completely sure you wanted to be with him forever. Guys change overtime...Maybe try the game with him, tell him to teach you how to play cause you feel left out. Be straight foward. If he is still being a jerk, say...it's either me, or your xbox.
Reply:well he has an addiction and this isn't good for the child or for you or for the relationship. maybe you could try and talk to him about this and that he actually needs to priorities. I mean you and the child love him way more than any game will. He is trying to escape something and you could try and confront him in a gentle way to see what it is, however if the behavior continues and he does not even want to try and compromise then if you can, try and move out to show him that you are worth much much more than a game..he should at that stage


realize what he has lost, and hopefully he will realize before he actually does lose you...a relationship is about compromise and he defiantly can put you and the baby first in his schedule and the game second..really
Reply:your in a tight spot but you might need to consider that it is his get away from drugs and alcohol and you need to try to help him get off it more, maybe throwing out the x box because its obviously a distraction and tearing you up inside, if you cant get him off it maybe get him on a different activity, such as exercising at a gym or golf or tennis etc.
Reply:Hide his games where he will not find them or destroy them.Destroy the games or your relationship.I believe the choice is clear.



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