Could anyone read this text and correct mistakes if you find any? I need this text to be corrected and comment

ed. THANK YOU. here it is:


Nora Roberts is a young woman of thirty five years of age but she looks younger – not older than twenty five. She comes from the south of America, Florida, but now lives and works in Germany, Berlin. Nora is an attractive girl, she has some likeness to Sharon Stone – she is a natural blonde, long-legged and slim-figured. She has grey eyes and delicate marble skin. She has a fascinating smile, when she smiles her eyes radiate special warmth and friendliness which attract people to her. She is very sociable and has a lot of friends and hobbies – she reads a lot, grows lilies and gardenias on the verandah of their rented flat, plays the violin and writes verses. Nora works as a reporter, she works for a women’s magazine and she travels all over the world a lot. Her department is responsible for the Real Stories column. She is enthusiastic and truly devoted to her job and enjoys what she does for a living.


She is married, her husband’s name is Kevin, he is a computerman. Kevin is a workaholic, he spends most of his time in computer programming. Their two sons are eight and ten, their names are Daniel and Nick, they both are schoolboys. They are very active and play sports. They have different interests – board games %26amp; video games, cartoons, comics and cars. They aren’t top pupils at school but they are rather diligent and teachers sometimes praise them which gives their parents great pleasure. The boys know what they want to do in the future – Daniel wants to be a doctor like his grandfather and Nick wants to pilot planes.


Her father is sixty eight, but he is still full of energy, he jogs in the mornings, you see, a person is as young as he feels. His name is Roger Smith, he is a handsome and respectable man with flecks of grey at the temples and a kind face. He works as a surgeon in a medical centre and writes books on medicine. His wife, Nora’s mother, is a pianist. She is currently on pension but she takes active part in charities, helping talented children. Nora’s parents live in a house in the suburbs of Tallahassee, the capital of Florida. Their house is a big and comfortable stone cottage to live in. It overlooks a small lake. There’s a garden of fruit trees behind it and a driveway in front. Nora and Kevin normally visit her parents in summer. Roger and Sarah always look forward to seeing their grandchildren.

Could anyone read this text and correct mistakes if you find any? I need this text to be corrected and comment
You have a comma in a few places where there should be a semi-colon, as in "Nora is an attractive girl, she has . . ." Either put a semi-colon there, or put the word "and" after the comma, or you could put a period and start a new sentence. Otherwise it looks good.
Reply:looks ok to me well done
Reply:You said "she is," "she has," "he is," that sort of thing a lot, and it becomes redundant after a while. Try combining some of the sentences - as in listing items in a series.
Reply:Unwilling to waste my time and efforts in such a lengthy piece of literature (???). Next time be brief and you may get my help.



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